Sunday, July 24, 2011

My Old Self

Whenever I see old pictures of myself I just cringe and think "what was I thinking?" There's never been a hairdo or shirt that I've worn that I've looked back on and given the thumbs up to. Its to the point that if i see a picture of myself from a week ago i immediately regret my clothing, hair, and face.

Give it 6 months and it'll be to the point I'll see a picture of myself from that morning and just think "my shirt is ridiculous! What was i thinking?" and just go naked everywhere.

Sent from my Windows Phone

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Rhys Sliding and Swinging

He really likes the swingset!

Wednesday, July 06, 2011


Tonight we were trying to teach Rhys how to catch a football. My wife would throw it to me, then I would throw it to her to demonstrate catching the ball. Instead of catching it he would let it bounce off his belly and then throw it back.  His throws are incredibly accurate for a 2 year old, as he's shown us time and time again with Hotwheels to our heads.  So, Rhea made the proclamation, "I guess he can be a pitcher and not a catcher" to which I replied, "I would prefer it that way"

And we exchanged an awkward glance.

Sent from my straight Windows Phone

Tuesday, July 05, 2011


It seems to me the guy that coined the phrase "giving 110%" was a bit of an underachiever. I mean, the sky's the limit when you decide to break the laws of mathematics and go over 100, so why did he limit himself to a measly 10% over?  If you're going to go, at least go to 150%.  Give it something, you lazy ass douche.  110%?  You might as well be giving me nothing, captain weaksauce.

And ever since this guy decided that 110% was the new maximum, it has just snowballed.  Now everyone goes way overboard with everything.  Everything is amazing.  The slightest thing happens and it's immediately dubbed AMAZING. 

"I watched the latest episode of Cake Boss and it was AMAZING!"

First off, if Cake Boss can be called amazing, then what's not amazing? 

"I stepped in cat shit this morning and it was AMAZING!"

Secondly, how many shows about cake are there going to be before we hit saturation?  I scroll through my cable channels and I see at least a baker's dozen (see what I did there?) shows about cakes, cupcakes, wedding cakes, and cheesecakes.  And they're all AMAZING!

Our culture has turned into the app store.  One decent idea floats to the top of this sea of shit and immediately there are 50 of the exact same thing with slightly different names.  Angry Birds spawned more games with either angry, birds, or some combination of those words in the title.  Even the Angry Birds people were making more Angry Birds games than anybody could ever play.  And they're all AMAZING!

It occurs to me that the guy that's giving 110% would have trouble watching every show about cake and playing every game about pissed off birds.  It's all because of him that we have all of this shit.  He broke the dam and now we're just swimming in it.  And it's AMAZING!

Sent from my amazing Windows Phone

Monday, July 04, 2011

Saturday, July 02, 2011

Rhys Riding His Trike

He's a quick learner. And a goof!