#Comedy

I think my tweets are funnier than anything I write longform. :-/

• Think I'm going underwear shopping at WalMart tonight. I smell a bunch of twitpics in your collective futures! #Bikinibriefs #packagebulge
• I'm thinking about renting a comedy this weekend. I better reserve Soul Surfer early at the @redbox. #comedy
• Every teardrop is a waterfall, huh? Then what is it when I take a piss, Chris Martin? #comedy #coldplayusedtobegood
• Not sure how I feel about signing up for my benefits and choosing Plan B.
• I think I'll change my gamertag to Farts McSphincter.
• I think I'll change my gamertag to Wang Cockengobble. #beatingadeadhorse
• Got my free Red Box code. Think I'll rent Green Horn...LOL! I wouldn't rent that if it came with $1.
• The Restaurant.com coupons have too many restrictions. Dine-in only for dinner during an eclipse while a virgin is present is a bit much.
• I feel like M Night missed an opportunity to use the Bloodhound Gang's Fire Water Burn in this movie. #thelastairbender
• Why hasn't there been a sequel to the bible? Harry Potter had like 10 books and I don't remember him being nailed to a cross. #comedy
• If Dippin Dots are the ice cream of the future, then we've been living in the future for like 10 years now.
• My wife turned 30 today. Time to trade her in for two 15 year olds. :-D #comedy

Also, this!

Uncle Boomshakalaka!

Uncle Boomshakalaka! - watch more funny videos

I Don't Understand Job

Handjob, Bland Job, I Don't Understand Job - watch more funny videos

The White Women's Workout

White Women's Workout - watch more funny videos

Whoreders!

Whoreders from Brandon Johnson

Seinfeld Rock Band

I would so buy this!

Seinfeld Rockband - watch more funny videos

We like LOST!

Modern Warfare 2 Achievements IRL

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

My Mom's On Facebook!

This is the best thing you will see this week. Trust me.

Forehead Tittaes

Forehead Tittaes w/ Marion Cotillard from Marion Cotillard

Tim Burton Sucks!

Further proof that Tim Burton is a hack!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Cough Drops And Coffee Filters

Sometimes I wonder how companies make money on their products. I bought a package of cough drops recently that had like 200 in there. When am I going to ever suck on 200 cough drops? And it only cost me like $.88 cents. How does that work? I buy the only package of cough drops I will need for the next three years and you get $.88 cents?

Even worse is the coffee filter industry. How do you possibly make money!? I bought a package of coffee filters back in like 1999 and just recently had to buy new. That's over a decade! And they cost me like $1! Not to mention the coffee maker I bought at the same time in 1999 was like $13. The only thing you really have to buy is the actual coffee. How does this industry sustain itself?! I spend $15 on all the hardware I will ever need to make coffee for the next 12 years and your company slowly goes bankrupt waiting for me to buy more.

No wonder Starbucks charges $5 for a cup of joe.

Bavatar

This is fucked up! And hilarious!

Avatar... with Babies from The Midnight Show

That's What She Said

That's What She Said from Megan Mullally

Plaid

I think it would be funny to make a shirt that just says the word "Plaid" on it. Because, when you see that word it takes you a second to read it. At first you think it says "played" because you're used to sounding words out. Then you have to make that adjustment and think, "no, that's plaid, not played". Then you think, "damn, I just got played by that plaid shirt".

It might be funny to actually make the letters in the word plaid to be plaid, but then I think it would lose it's ironic abilities and make more sense. If it's just a solid shirt with big, solid letters, that makes you think about it more. Like, why does that shirt just say plaid, but it's not plaid.

Mind...blown.

Making Fun of the iPad

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Vibrating Toothbrush

The other day I bought one of these new vibrating toothbrushes. Is that how you say it? Toothbrushes? Seems like it should be teethbrush.

Anyway, I'm using this thing in my mouth when I come to a startling realization. What if I'm actually using a vibrator on my mouth?! You know how companies like Sharper Image market "personal massagers" for your back and neck, but in reality your parents and grandparents use them on their junk? What if this is the new "personal massager"?! And I'm the only person that doesn't know it's not for my mouth hole!? Meanwhile, some middle-aged chick is using the same model to take herself to O-Town.

No, not the band.

ManCrunch

This is going to play during the Super Bowl. Some people think it's inappropriate. I think it's funny as shit.

Star Wars Edit

This is fucking hilarious! His lightsaber is blue all the time!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Ballad of GI Joe

This makes me want to see the movie even more!

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Olivia Wilde