Friday, May 02, 2008

I Hate The Post Office

I'm not exaggerating when I make the above statement. It's a point of fact that has been cemented into my brain. It's an interesting thing, too, because my wife and sister both work for the post office. But here I am, wishing I could declare a jihad on the whole damn organization. I'm like one of those senators that speaks out against gay marriage, meanwhile I'm banging dudes in an airport bathroom.

As some of my twitter buddies know, I was working for the post office earlier this year and eventually quit. I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty details about what happened in this post, but suffice to say that I was bent over a mail cart and corn holed by those bastards. I've talked to everyone I can get to answer a phone, including the union, and I got no help whatsoever.

There are so many things wrong with the post office. First off is the union. They make it so it's impossible to get rid of people that don't do their jobs. The post office is powerless to take any action against an employee for fear of the union. This does nothing but create an environment where the employees think they are bulletproof. Therefore they do the least work possible. Meanwhile, hard working people like me that do a good job get the shaft because the lazy regular carrier doesn't train worth a shit.

The second thing is the fact that the postal service, whether they would admit it or not, is a monopoly. There's no such thing as quitting the mail or going to a different service provider. If you want your bills, letters, and junk mail, you have to use the post office. They use UPS and FedEx as justification for being a monopoly, but the reality is that nobody in their right mind would send a letter using UPS and no company is going to send out their billing statements using FedEx. As soon as I can change my service provider like I can change my cell phone provider, then we will have progress.

What put me over the edge about the post office is not what happened to me while I was employed, but what has happened recently to me as a postal customer.

Recently my wife ordered a new pair of eye glasses off the internet. We tracked the package and it showed delivered. We did not have the glasses. We ventured down to the mail boxes at our apartments and found the package in an unlocked parcel locker. It was unlocked because the lock was broken. The carrier just left it in there with no notice in our regular box. This is the issue that prompted us to buy a P.O. box and put in a forward for our mail.

A few weeks ago I ordered a couple MP3 players from They were only $10 each. Not a big ticket item, but it's still something I would like to receive. The package was lost due to the incompetent carrier forwarding the parcel. It's currently languishing in Dallas, probably being used as a doorstop or booger receptacle.

The final straw was yesterday when I tracked my Amazon package. I ordered Advance Wars: Days of Ruin from Amazon for cheap the other day and I've been excited ever since. The tracking showed it as delivered on the 28th. WTF?

I called 1-800-ASK-USPS and finally got a woman on the phone. I told her my story and she transferred me to someone else for no other reason than she didn't want to deal with me. I was livid and let loose on the new guy. Shockingly, he was very helpful.

Now, I sit here and wait for the post office to call me and bless me with information on my two parcels. Meanwhile, they are in no rush to provide any useful information because they have a monopoly on the industry and employ lazy, union protected jackasses who would rather complain about how many breaks they get instead of deliver me my fucking package!

Of course, when I refer to all postal employees as lazy, union protected jackasses, I don't mean my wife or my sister. They are the few that actually try to make a difference. My only wish is that someone would walk into that organization and fire 90% of the people and start over with people who actually want to work. Who actually have a vested interest in making sure you get your mail, as opposed to just being interested in getting done as fast as possible no matter how many mistakes they make and how many parcels get lost.

...and I'm spent.
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