#Comedy

I think my tweets are funnier than anything I write longform. :-/

• Think I'm going underwear shopping at WalMart tonight. I smell a bunch of twitpics in your collective futures! #Bikinibriefs #packagebulge
• I'm thinking about renting a comedy this weekend. I better reserve Soul Surfer early at the @redbox. #comedy
• Every teardrop is a waterfall, huh? Then what is it when I take a piss, Chris Martin? #comedy #coldplayusedtobegood
• Not sure how I feel about signing up for my benefits and choosing Plan B.
• I think I'll change my gamertag to Farts McSphincter.
• I think I'll change my gamertag to Wang Cockengobble. #beatingadeadhorse
• Got my free Red Box code. Think I'll rent Green Horn...LOL! I wouldn't rent that if it came with $1.
• The Restaurant.com coupons have too many restrictions. Dine-in only for dinner during an eclipse while a virgin is present is a bit much.
• I feel like M Night missed an opportunity to use the Bloodhound Gang's Fire Water Burn in this movie. #thelastairbender
• Why hasn't there been a sequel to the bible? Harry Potter had like 10 books and I don't remember him being nailed to a cross. #comedy
• If Dippin Dots are the ice cream of the future, then we've been living in the future for like 10 years now.
• My wife turned 30 today. Time to trade her in for two 15 year olds. :-D #comedy

Also, this!

Ride 'Em Horsey!

My Old Self

Whenever I see old pictures of myself I just cringe and think "what was I thinking?" There's never been a hairdo or shirt that I've worn that I've looked back on and given the thumbs up to. Its to the point that if i see a picture of myself from a week ago i immediately regret my clothing, hair, and face.

Give it 6 months and it'll be to the point I'll see a picture of myself from that morning and just think "my shirt is ridiculous! What was i thinking?" and just go naked everywhere.

Sent from my Windows Phone

Rhys Sliding and Swinging

He really likes the swingset!

Pitcher

Tonight we were trying to teach Rhys how to catch a football. My wife would throw it to me, then I would throw it to her to demonstrate catching the ball. Instead of catching it he would let it bounce off his belly and then throw it back.  His throws are incredibly accurate for a 2 year old, as he's shown us time and time again with Hotwheels to our heads.  So, Rhea made the proclamation, "I guess he can be a pitcher and not a catcher" to which I replied, "I would prefer it that way"

And we exchanged an awkward glance.

Sent from my straight Windows Phone

Amazing

It seems to me the guy that coined the phrase "giving 110%" was a bit of an underachiever. I mean, the sky's the limit when you decide to break the laws of mathematics and go over 100, so why did he limit himself to a measly 10% over?  If you're going to go, at least go to 150%.  Give it something, you lazy ass douche.  110%?  You might as well be giving me nothing, captain weaksauce.

And ever since this guy decided that 110% was the new maximum, it has just snowballed.  Now everyone goes way overboard with everything.  Everything is amazing.  The slightest thing happens and it's immediately dubbed AMAZING. 

"I watched the latest episode of Cake Boss and it was AMAZING!"

First off, if Cake Boss can be called amazing, then what's not amazing? 

"I stepped in cat shit this morning and it was AMAZING!"

Secondly, how many shows about cake are there going to be before we hit saturation?  I scroll through my cable channels and I see at least a baker's dozen (see what I did there?) shows about cakes, cupcakes, wedding cakes, and cheesecakes.  And they're all AMAZING!

Our culture has turned into the app store.  One decent idea floats to the top of this sea of shit and immediately there are 50 of the exact same thing with slightly different names.  Angry Birds spawned more games with either angry, birds, or some combination of those words in the title.  Even the Angry Birds people were making more Angry Birds games than anybody could ever play.  And they're all AMAZING!

It occurs to me that the guy that's giving 110% would have trouble watching every show about cake and playing every game about pissed off birds.  It's all because of him that we have all of this shit.  He broke the dam and now we're just swimming in it.  And it's AMAZING!

Sent from my amazing Windows Phone

Fireworks at the Botanical Gardens

Happy 4th of July!

Rhys Riding His Trike

He's a quick learner. And a goof!

Counting In Spanish or Trains Are Frustrating

Happy Fathers Day!

Happy Birthday, Rhys!

Rhys will be 2 years old tomorrow, the 15th. I can hardly believe it's been 2 years since I saw him born. He is the smartest, funniest, meanest, handsomest kid I've ever seen! We had his party on Sunday. He got so much stuff it's not even funny. Toys, clothes, etc. And cake! So much cake!

Birthday And Hail

It's been a totally busy week this week. Sunday was my birthday. I turned 36. I'm not thrilled about it, but what are you gonna do? At least I had a kick ass cake and fun time. Alana and Kenneth went with us to Twin Peaks restaurant (and paid). It was awesome. Rhys really liked it! Sunday my wife's family came over and we had some pizza and cake. I put Rhys' house together, too.

We had some storms roll through on Tuesday. We got some giant hail. Baseball-sized hail. I've never seen any that big before (that's what she said).

Playing In The Sprinkler

Zoo Slideshow

We took our first trip to the Zoo yesterday. Here's some pics! There's more on the way, too!

Helping Daddy Mow

Mowing, a photo by Gemini Ace on Flickr.

Rhys and I mowed the yard this morning. He was really good and helped a lot. The yard is looking pretty good, if I do say so myself.

I'm selling my phone on eBay, so if anybody wants a Samsung Focus with a cracked screen, I'll give you a deal!



Via Flickr:
Sent from my Windows Phone

Hello Ladies

As if this kid could get any cuter, he cranks it up a notch! LOL!

Sent from my Windows Phone

The Hard Way

Why is it when I pay a bill, they are able to have the money pulled out of my account faster than you can say, "damn that was fast", but when money is owed to me everybody takes their sweet ass time?

I'm currently in a holding pattern in life financially. First off, I've been waiting on the IRS (or as I call them, the goddamn IRS) to send me the money from our first time homebuyers tax credit. It's been 6 months and all we've done is call the IRS and beg for information on why its taking so long. Come to find out our file made it to the audit department because they want more information. Since people were falsifying paperwork to get in on the tax credit, they started requiring additional proof we actually live there. Thank you government and thank you America. And don't even get me started on what a taxpayer advocate does.

Second, I've been waiting since January to get the health insurance date fixed by my previous employer so I can get reimbursed for $200 I had to spend due to their screw up. Personally I expect Jesus to come back before I expect them to get their shit together.

And finally, I am still waiting for Dell to pull the trigger and hire me as a real employee. I'm languishing here as a contractor making peanuts while doing a job that I know pays a lot more. And I have to smile about it the whole time.

I just want to know why it is that it always has to be the hard way. The IRS had to pull my amendment aside, they had to screw up my insurance and not my coworkers, and Dell has to keep me on a string just for the hell of it.

I cant believe that this is karma because if that's the case I must have raped the pope in a past life.

Sent from my Windows Phone

Rhys Knows His Animals

Dirty Boy

Summer is fast approaching and I think Rhys is going to love it. He is already an outdoors kid. He loves dirt, as you can see. Of course, he's a boy so what do you expect.

Sent from my Windows Phone

The Recap

It's time for the recap. This is where I bemoan not writing on here more and resolve to do it more often. I'll also be giving a update on what Rhys has been doing and how awesome it is, so don't leave yet.

We mowed the yard yesterday for the first time. Well, the first time with our brand new lawnmower. We also did some landscaping to get into compliance with the HOA rules around here. I really don't know what purpose the HOA serves just yet. So far we've given them like $200 and we haven't seen anything. I'm sorry, but for two bills, you better be out here scraping gum off the street and making sure I have a Cafe Latte as I pull out of my driveway every morning. Of course, that two hundred is for the year, but still! At least stick some asshole in a golf cart and have him drive around with "HOA Police" on it so I know there's not somebody out there just rolling around in my money and laughing.

Otherwise, my house has been taken over by mexicans. Rhys has become enamored with Dora the Explorer and Go Diego Go. To the point of all he wants to do is watch Diego. He knows it's on Netflix, so he turns on either the Xbox or PS3 and tv and says "Go Diego". The other night, he woke up around 3:45 am. I went in and picked him up and he immediately pointed towards the other room and said "Go Diego". I said no, it's bed time, but he can be pretty convincing sometimes. So, we ended up watching 4 episodes of Diego before going back to bed.

Since it's getting warmer and we sprung forward last night, we will hopefully be outside more. Rhys had fun outside the other day and the girls really liked it, too.

What's Up

I don't even know what to say on here anymore. Life is so busy that the days go by so fast and before I know it its been a month since I've posted on here.

Basically I'm working for a contracting company hoping it turns into a real job with Dell.  I hope it happens and happens soon. I'm tired of living in limbo as a contractor.

Other than that, its just Rhys Rhys Rhys!  And that's the best thing ever! He amazes me how much he learns every day. He has become addicted to Diego and Dora. He will sit there and watch a whole episode without moving. He won't do that with anything else. 

Anyway, that's about it.  I'll check back in 6 months. LOL!

Sent from my Windows Phone

Rhys Saying Xbox And Waving At Kinect

Rhys In The Snow In Texas

Dancing Baby Rhys

Need For Speed Slideshow

Great Start In Halo Reach Multi

More Rhys Videos!

My Plan To Save Radio

I enjoy technology. I've been downloading MP3's since Napster was still in college. Alana and I were trying to burn CD's way before burners were installed in every desktop and laptop. And once I did get a burner, I burned enough discs to fill a CD Warehouse. Having said that, I still like listening to the radio.

When driving, the radio is just so convenient. Unfortunately, roughly half the songs that come on the radio have been played so many times they've lost all their meaning. The fact that Sublime is still played on the radio multiple times a day in 2010 baffles my mind. It's no secret that radio listenership is down because of MP3's and the iPod. It's with this in mind that I have hatched an idea to save radio.

If the artist or a member of the group is no longer alive, then their songs shouldn't be played on the radio anymore.

I know it sounds drastic. I know people will bristle at the thought. But, hear me out. Radio programmers don't know when to pull the plug on an artist. They stick to the familiar and rarely add anything new to the repertoire. In order to get them to inject some new and abandon the old, let's give them a rule to follow.

Basically, Jimi Hendrix has been dead since 1970. He's still on the radio. Meanwhile, artists like the Broken Bells, Pop Evil, and Evan's Blue get little to no airplay. Let's force the program managers to drop acts like Sublime, Nirvana, and the Doors. They had their time. They died. Let's move on.

If this works, then the next step is to drop bands that have broken up or aren't in their original lineup. Then we can get those cursed Red Hot Chili Peppers off the radio!

Christmas 2010 In Pictures

Christmas 2010

We had a great Christmas this year. Rhys made a great haul, as you can see by the videos below.

The Job Search

Looking for a job is like trying to get laid in high school. Finding the right combination of a girl you like that actually likes you, getting to spend some time alone, and then actually getting her to take her pants off, is almost impossible. I honestly think it would be easier to harvest my own organs and put them on eBay. Step 3: Profit!

I've noticed after being through this a couple times in the last year or so that you go through a few different emotional stages during the job search.

Stage 1 starts when you find out you're going to be laid off. There's still plenty of hope and a positive attitude. You'll find something. It's just a matter of finding a company that can see how great you are. Salary expectations are still high.

Stage 2 starts to creep up after you've submitted a few hundred resumes and had zero responses. All these employers must be crazy to be passing up on the opportunity to have me on the payroll. Right?

Stage 3 shows up a few weeks before deadline. You've started drastically lowering your expectations for salary and location. Fear begins to set in.

Stage 4 is basically "what the fuck am I going to do?"

Anyway, it's 9 lbs of stress in a 1 lb sack.

Santa!

Santa!
Originally uploaded by Gemini Ace

We took Rhys to see Santa the other day at Bass Pro Shops. I know that's probably the last place you would think to find Santa, but apparently he's into camouflage, stuffed deer, and shotguns. It was a cool deal. One free picture with Santa, then you could buy more with their package deals. He was good as always, although he didn't smile for the one they took. He at least had a grin for me.

Uncle Boomshakalaka!

Uncle Boomshakalaka! - watch more funny videos

Reach Killing Spree

Another video showcasing my exceptional skills in Halo.

Raising A Genius

SpongeBob bed
Originally uploaded by Gemini Ace

I think I can safely say that my son is a genius. I know everybody thinks that about their kid, but I'm serious.

First off he can unlock Rhea's iPhone. He hits the home button and slides the slider with his finger. Then he opens up apps and even starts playing songs off the iPod sometimes! Genius I tell's ya!

Not only that, but yesterday we were sitting down for breakfast. He was looking out the back door at the dogs. I told him that as soon as I was done we could go give them some treats. Once I said that, he walked into the kitchen, opened the cabinet with the treats and brought them to me. It was amazing!

I have video of him unlocking the iPhone, but I can't get if off of my phone. I don't know why. Otherwise I like my phone. Read my impressions here. Otherwise, go look at the videos of Rhys on my YouTube. Adorable!

Kinected

With the money I sold my iPhone for, I was able to get my Focus with a little scratch left over. How much you ask? How about enough to buy Kinect? Woot!

All we have is Kinect Adventures, but it's a pretty fun little "Wii Sports" selection of games. I enjoy the river rafting one quite a bit. I also like how it takes pictures of you during the game, although I'm sure the people that see the pictures don't like that feature.

The living statue thing is pretty funny, too. I'm glad it lets you record whatever you want to say. That was an unexpected bonus.

Balls balls...suck 'em suck 'em...

Focus Focus Focus!

I did the seemingly unthinkable yesterday. I bought a new phone. And not a new iPhone. I hooked my wagon to the newest iPhone competitor, the Windows 7 phone.

I know what you're thinking. "Dude, how can you not get the new iPhone? Are you a commie?" To that I say, because I didn't wanna, and yes.

Honestly, ever since I finally got my 3G updated to the (gimped) iOS4 update, I was thinking about changing. Being able to put apps into folders made me realize that I never used 90% of the apps on my iPhone. Once they were put into folders, that was it. I kept the apps that I used on a regular basis out of folders, which added up to roughly 1 screen of apps.

I use my phone for a handful of things. Phone calls, the camera, Twitter, Facebook, e-mail, and music. I use it for some gaming as well, but there are only a handful of games that are worthwhile on the platform. Flight Control. Real Racing. The Spiderman game. Cut the Rope. That's it. And Game Center is a big bag of fail.

When they announced that Phone 7 would have Xbox Live support, that sealed the deal for me. Actual games with achievements supported by Microsoft. Not a bunch of 3rd party crap that is designed to get your cash in exchange for 10 minutes of tilting your phone.

Some of the great things that I've found so far in Phone 7 are the integration with my Gmail and Facebook accounts. I was worried it would be a nightmare getting my contacts updated on the phone. Fortunately, it took little more than me logging into each account for Phone 7 to have my address book populated and ready to go. The iPhone can't even reconcile your Gmail contacts between what you've sent on your phone vs what you've sent via the internet.

The Xbox Live application is amazing. I've played ilomilo and The Harvest so far. ilomilo was free and it's adorable. The Harvest looks awesome and plays very well. I plan on getting a few more of the launch titles like The Sims 3 and Need for Speed pretty soon.

Basically, change is good I think. After 2 years with the iPhone, I feel like I've seen everything there is to see on the platform. Not only that, but the performance was suffering.

I'm not saying this phone won't have issues. I started out with one right off the bat because it downloaded an update as soon as I got it and I finally had to hold the power button down to make it reset itself. Also, the memory is expandable via a microSD card, but once you put in the card, you can't take it out. It becomes part of the memory and can't be swapped out like most other phones. This is a small thing and something I can deal with.

Gamer In The Making

Who needs #Kinect?!
Originally uploaded by Gemini Ace

Since getting my new Halo Reach Xbox, I've discovered something interesting. Since it has the touch sensitive buttons, it's extremely easy for someone...like a little boy...to walk up to it and turn it off. As in, watching a movie on Netflix one second, Xbox power off the next.

He figured out how to turn on the Xbox using the controller a long time ago, so now I have to give him a controller with no batteries in it. Pretty soon he'll be pwning asses in Halo Reach.

Halloween

Halloween
Originally uploaded by Gemini Ace

Snikt! He's the best there is at what he does, and what he does is get candy!

We took Rhys trick or treating last night in his awesome Wolverine costume. We went around our new neighborhood so we can meet some of the people. He made a nice haul. He wouldn't say trick or treat, even though he will say it if you don't want him to. Once you ask him to say it, it's all "uh uh".

Marines Fix Red Ring Of Death

Seems to me like Marines would have better things to do with their time. And not be wasting ammunition.

Marines Fix Red Ring Of Death - Watch more Game Trailers

Yoiks!

Couple of mediocre Halo Reach videos for your viewing pleasure.

I Don't Understand Job

Handjob, Bland Job, I Don't Understand Job - watch more funny videos

We're In!

My hard work!
Originally uploaded by Gemini Ace

It's taken some time to get this post up, but better late than never. We closed on the house a week ago today. We moved this last weekend, and we're in! All of our hard work paid off as we are now proud homeowners of a brand new 3 bedroom, 2 story house.

It's an awesome feeling. Knowing that your kiddo will have a permanent place to grow up and your dogs have a yard to run in. Not to mention Rhea and I can grow old together in a place all our own.

Home sweet home.

Killing Spree

Got my 5G added to my gamerscore with this killing spree. Hehe.

Sorry about the Silverlight.

Edit: Fixed video.

Hurry Up And Wait

Hurry up and wait. That feels like all we've done for the last few months. Fortunately, I think we're finally in the home stretch (no pun intended) to getting into the new house. We can't wait to get in there and just start living!

Baby Rhys continues to just amaze me every day. Lately he's been getting 4 molars in at the same time. That makes for a cranky baby. He's done really well, though. I would probably not be so good. That's not to say he's been an angel. He whacked me in the head the other night with two different toys. The first one was a toy spatula and didn't hurt. The next one was big, hard, and spikey. I might be exaggerating a bit, but not really! I still have the scar!

Otherwise he's just the cutest kid evar!

Do You Want To Go Into Gamestop?

I can't tell if he's my son or not. He farts like me, but he doesn't want to go into Gamestop.

Say Dada?!

Apparently my baby son has decided he's not going to say mama or dada. Or pretty much anything else we want him to say. His only response is "uh uh" and to shake his head. lol!

iPhone Commercials Make Me Cry

Do these iPhone 4 commercials get anybody else all misty-eyed whenever they see them?

By the way, why does she say "Do you got a minute"?

Mr Independent

I really need to be better about documenting Rhys' growth or at least putting down some stories. Taking pictures is always my goto, but I need to write this stuff down!

Case in point, he's becoming quite a daredevil lately. From climbing on the couch to diving into a pile of clean clothes, he's pretty fearless. He's walking really well, even in shoes. We went to Kohl's the other day and he walked a lot while we were there. He wouldn't hold my hand much and kept pulling away.

Mr. Independent I call him.

He has also decided that touching my Xbox (and removing my memory card) is funny. It's funny because when I say no, he goes faster and laughs hysterically. It's not funny!

I'm constantly amazed at how smart he is. He shows ingenuity all the time. If he can't reach something in his toy box, he finds something closer it's sitting on and gets that. He has also started to dance when there's music on the tv. It's so awesome to see him grow.

I just hope he figures out that the Xbox is not a toy!

Busy Baby Rhys

iPhone 3G Fail

This is how laggy my phone is. And I haven't even updated to iOS4 since the backup process takes so long. I've seriously left my phone overnight and the backup looked like this...

Don't know if it's because I have over 3500 pictures on it or what, but I don't have DAYS to leave my phone connected to iTunes while it does its thing.

Birthday Slideshow

Pictures from the party in convenient slideshow form.

Rhys' First Birthday Party

We had Rhys' 1st birthday party yesterday. It was a lot of fun and he raked in the stuff. More toys and clothes than anybody could ever play with or use! He's not spoiled at all.

He didn't tear into the little cake we got him like we thought he would. He just kind of looked at it and wanted out of his high chair. I guess that's good that he didn't immediately destroy it. We were prepared, though. Maybe next year!

Funny aside. I went up to Party City to get balloons and ended up buying a bunch of purple ones that I thought were blue. Thanks, colorblindness!

Wipeout

Tell me this isn't the funniest thing you've ever seen!

Rhys' First Birthday

Yesterday was Rhys' first birthday! Rhea and I took the day off and spent it with him. Unfortunately, part of that included taking him to the doctor for his one year check up and getting some shots. He handled them like a total champ, though. Then we went to a cool place called Pigtails and Crewcuts and got his hair cut for the very first time. They did a great job and we got some awesome pictures. He's such a good boy.

We also sent in his picture to Good Day and he was featured as a birthday on the show!

Birthday 2010

This last weekend was kind of a big deal. First off, I turned 35. Yea, I know. One foot in the grave and all that. I think I look good for 35. I definitely have the ass of a 28 year old, I'll tell you that right now!

I got Red Dead Redemption, Uncharted 2 and some cash. Good haul for an old man.

The other big event was the Lost series finale. I had to read up on it a little to understand what happened, but all in all I think it was a great end to an awesome show. Lost is totally in my top 5 tv shows of all time. Right up there with Seinfeld and Buffy.

Hammer Spree

I really like Elite Slayer.

Teeth Check!

Rhea and I took off yesterday and all three of us went to the dentist! Rhys was really good. No cavities in anybody's teeth, either. Hehe.

I'm so proud of our little boy.

The White Women's Workout

White Women's Workout - watch more funny videos

Whoreders!

Whoreders from Brandon Johnson

Our House

I feel like such a grown up. We signed the contract on this house Sunday. It's going to be beautiful! I can't wait to get in there, set up my gameroom (complete with posters of Pamela Anderson), and finally be a homeowner.

I feel like I should thank Obama or something.

Seinfeld Rock Band

I would so buy this!

Seinfeld Rockband - watch more funny videos

We like LOST!

Kick-Ass!

Alana, Kenneth and I went to see Kick-Ass yesterday. I really wanted to see it in the theater because I really wanted to see Hit-Girl in action on the big screen. I wasn't disappointed at all. Kick-Ass was brutal, bloody, and funny.

I'll be honest, I haven't read the comic books. It's been a while since I kept up with any ongoing series or even been into a comic shop. Most of my comic book consumption comes in the form of movies and games now days. A lot of times this can have a detrimental effect on the movies. If you know the history of a character or franchise, it really sucks to see Hollywood take it and package it for the masses. X-Men and Spider-Man started really strong, but ultimately nose-dived into shit territory with the third installment of each. At least we're about to get another awesome Iron Man movie, not to mention Captain America and then the Avengers.

Anyway, Kick-Ass really felt like a love letter to comic books. Anybody who's ever read a comic could identify with Kick-Ass. He was like-able and it really hurt when he got hurt. The real star was Hit-Girl. She's the one with the tragic back story and reason for revenge. You even get a little misty at a couple parts because she's so young and so alone.

I hear the story was changed from the comic book, and normally that would bug me, but since I never read the funny book, I don't have that connection with it. I kind of wish I could remove myself from other characters and just enjoy them for what they are up on the screen, but it's so hard to watch Deadpool extrude swords from his arms, shoot optic blasts, and teleport. It may look cool, but when does it stop being an homage to the character and just become name lifting?

I'm worried that Whiplash is going to suffer from this syndrome in Iron Man 2. Cherry picking the parts they want to use from different villains to make a story work. And you may argue that sticking too close to canon leaves us with movies like Daredevil or Ghost Rider. And I'll tell you, those movies are much more enjoyable than X-Men 3.

And I'll tell you one thing right now. Seeing Elektra killed on screen almost exactly like the comic book is still a memory that stands out for me.

Farewell Halo 2

I, along with a ton of other people, played Halo 2 over Xbox Live last night as a last hurrah for the multiplayer. It brought back a lot of memories of playing those maps, most of which are far superior to what's in Halo 3. Terminal comes to mind. Sucks that I didn't get into any games on Coagulation or Turf.

Halo 2 was the only game that I ever went to a midnight launch for. Stood in line at a Gamestop for over 2 hours just to get my reserved copy. They were running a Halo tournament in the store at the same time, so it caused all the rest of us to have to wait forever.

And I probably wouldn't know a lot of the great guys I know today without Halo 2 and Podtacular. It's pretty much what got me into the community and podcasting.

Good times...

Modern Warfare 2 Achievements IRL

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Denise Richards' Funbags

Denise Richards' Funbags from Denise Richards

Rock Band Photography

We took Rhys to get some pictures taken at Target last night. Of course, they turned out great. He doesn't know how to take a bad picture.

I'm amazed at the expense and disparity of portrait pricing. We sat down to look at all the poses and choose our favorites, and to choose what package we wanted. I had a coupon for 40% off, among some others that I had printed. The cheapest package is $175! Uh, 40% off of that is still damn expensive, Target.

One of the other coupons we had was for a one pose package for $7.99, plus a free 8x10. So, I can either "save" 40% off of a package and spend over $100, or spend eight bucks. Decisions are hard!

What sucks is, you sit there looking at all the poses and she prices out the package, then you have to go through the fun of telling her you can't afford to spend that much. The portrait lady kind of makes you feel like a bad parent because you don't want to buy all the pictures of your kid. And it's not like they work off commission, so what's with the sales pressure?

Anyway, I think they all turned out really good. We bought that Rock Band shirt before he was even born, and we've been waiting for him to grow into it. Handsome hunk!

Video Game Health Care Bill

Good stuff!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

The Expendables

This looks pretty damn awesome!

Four Years Of Podcasting

This may seem a little silly to everyone else, but it's a really cool thing to me. Four years ago Alana and I started podcasting with Animal Crossing Friends episode 1. A lot has happened in that time, believe me, and it's been great to have this constant connection with my sister all the while. I really feel like doing the podcast has helped us remain close since we've been adults. It's a fun thing we share, and something I cherish. Whether we get together once a month or once a week, it's always great to get on the mic and do what we do best. Make each other laugh.

Yea, I think getting older is making me more sentimental. What, you wanna fight about it!?

Easter Bunny

We took Rhys to see the Easter Bunny last night. He was so good. Just like when we went to see Santa, he sat there and smiled like a pro.

He's so used to mugging for the camera, he probably wonders why there's not a camera pointed at him 24/7.

I wonder that, too.

My Mom's On Facebook!

This is the best thing you will see this week. Trust me.

Silverlight Gamercard

I have to admit, this Silverlight gamercard by MyGamercard.net is pretty damn snazzy.

Forehead Tittaes

Forehead Tittaes w/ Marion Cotillard from Marion Cotillard

Talking To The Sippy Cup

Can this baby make a video that's not adorable?! I think not!

Law Abiding Gamer

I didn't plan it this way, but we ended up watching a couple of Gerard Butler movies here lately. Thanks to a free Red Box code we watched Law Abiding Citizen last week. It was awesome! I really didn't know what to expect, since I never really heard much about this movie besides the commercials. It starts out pretty hardcore and just keeps going. I highly recommend it.

On the flip side is Gamer. While this wasn't the worst video game related movie (it beats Stay Alive by a mile), it definitely could have been worse. Basically this Bill Gates kind of guy develops a way to put nanites in your brain so that you can be controlled remotely. He creates a Sony Home type place called Society and a Halo type game called Slayers.

It felt a little like The Running Man meets Deathrace (the one with Jason Statham). It wasn't that bad of a movie really. The action was pretty good. The plot was iffy, but that wasn't a surprise at all.

I like it how Hollywood has discovered nano-bots as a convenient plot device to explain all sorts of stuff in movies.

Tim Burton Sucks!

Further proof that Tim Burton is a hack!

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Cough Drops And Coffee Filters

Sometimes I wonder how companies make money on their products. I bought a package of cough drops recently that had like 200 in there. When am I going to ever suck on 200 cough drops? And it only cost me like $.88 cents. How does that work? I buy the only package of cough drops I will need for the next three years and you get $.88 cents?

Even worse is the coffee filter industry. How do you possibly make money!? I bought a package of coffee filters back in like 1999 and just recently had to buy new. That's over a decade! And they cost me like $1! Not to mention the coffee maker I bought at the same time in 1999 was like $13. The only thing you really have to buy is the actual coffee. How does this industry sustain itself?! I spend $15 on all the hardware I will ever need to make coffee for the next 12 years and your company slowly goes bankrupt waiting for me to buy more.

No wonder Starbucks charges $5 for a cup of joe.

Bavatar

This is fucked up! And hilarious!

Avatar... with Babies from The Midnight Show

2 Fat 2 Fly / 2 Legit 2 Quit

I kind of want to weigh in (pun!) on the whole Kevin Smith too fat to fly thing. I have a couple things that bug me about it, none of which really revolve around him being too fat or what the airline did.

I'm really just annoyed that he's finally getting some mass media coverage, and it's because of his weight. That and the fact that I watched the entire Entertainment Tonight show the other day because they had a doctor that was supposedly going to give insight into just how fat he is. And after many many teases and commercial breaks, the doctor really only gave us "he's probably over 300 pounds".

Well, thank you!

First off, let's go ahead and say it. 300 pounds is heavy, but not near as heavy as the public at large (pun!) thinks it is. I myself am 270 right now. Yes, I'm a big dude. Am I so big I don't fit places? No. Am I so big I can't walk or require the use of a motorized cart? Hell no.

Not only am I not handicapped by my "massive girth", I can still see my penis! I call that a good thing. (I also call it something else, but I'm not sure I want to type "purple-headed yogurt slinger" on my blog...wait...what?)

So, while I know that I'm not the healthiest guy around, I know that I eat relatively well and I'm not actively gaining weight. I maintain and I live. Someday I will get serious about dropping some pounds and that's great. I want to be healthier for my son. Does that mean I'm not content with me right now? No, I'm cool. I'm happy.

Anyway, I feel for Kevin Smith being put up as a fat poster child. It's easy to make self-deprecating jokes about your weight, but when somebody else does it, it stings a little. Like, it's OK for me to acknowledge it, but you don't need to remind me. I think it's like being able to make a racist joke if you're the race you're making fun of. Unless you're Jewish, then you're fair game.

Bottom line is, he got screwed by the airline. He's gotten his revenge, plus plenty of publicity whether he likes it or not. It doesn't make me like him any less. Hell, I've been listening and reading to everything he's posted on the subject. It does suck that it's an actual story and gotten this much traction.

Personally, I just want to see Cop Out.

The Best Part of Waking Up

That's What She Said

That's What She Said from Megan Mullally

Plaid

I think it would be funny to make a shirt that just says the word "Plaid" on it. Because, when you see that word it takes you a second to read it. At first you think it says "played" because you're used to sounding words out. Then you have to make that adjustment and think, "no, that's plaid, not played". Then you think, "damn, I just got played by that plaid shirt".

It might be funny to actually make the letters in the word plaid to be plaid, but then I think it would lose it's ironic abilities and make more sense. If it's just a solid shirt with big, solid letters, that makes you think about it more. Like, why does that shirt just say plaid, but it's not plaid.

Mind...blown.

Making Fun of the iPad

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Vibrating Toothbrush

The other day I bought one of these new vibrating toothbrushes. Is that how you say it? Toothbrushes? Seems like it should be teethbrush.

Anyway, I'm using this thing in my mouth when I come to a startling realization. What if I'm actually using a vibrator on my mouth?! You know how companies like Sharper Image market "personal massagers" for your back and neck, but in reality your parents and grandparents use them on their junk? What if this is the new "personal massager"?! And I'm the only person that doesn't know it's not for my mouth hole!? Meanwhile, some middle-aged chick is using the same model to take herself to O-Town.

No, not the band.

ManCrunch

This is going to play during the Super Bowl. Some people think it's inappropriate. I think it's funny as shit.

Mmmmm...Mesh

Star Wars Edit

This is fucking hilarious! His lightsaber is blue all the time!

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The Snuggler!

The Snuggler - watch more funny videos

The A-Team

How good does this look?!

Jump Around!

He's rockin' that excersaucer!

YouTube wouldn't take my edit, so I put it on Facebook,