They Keep Pulling Me Back In!

I hate Kohls. Well, that's not exactly true. I don't hate the store itself. I hate some of the people that work there. You know what I hate more than them? I hate being put on the spot. Let me explain.

I worked overnight Monday night. Then I worked at my day job until 8:30 p.m. on Tuesday. Then, I came home and the stuff with Buttercup happened, so I didn't get a ton of sleep. Then I found out I had to work late at my day job again for testing even though I was scheduled at Kohls. Of course, my day job takes priority, so I called Kohls and told them I won't be in. This is where everything goes sideways.

The guy I talked to is a huge douchebag. He's the type that's married to the store. He stays late and goes above and beyond. A real cock smoker. Anyway, he proceeds to tell me how late he'll be there, so when I'm done at my other job I can still come in. I'm to call him later and update him. Thanks, douchenozzle. I gave you the opportunity to call someone in to cover for my shift, but instead you want to make me jump through hoops because you're too hopped up on Mountain Dew and (probably) meth that you can't think straight.

So, I call him back around 10:30 p.m. to let him know that I just got done and still won't be in because I haven't had any sleep and if I work overnight, I will be a zombie at my day job.

I was almost out. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. But no...

"When do you work next?"
"Saturday", I say.
"Can you work on Thursday? I'm losing people like flies."
"uh...um...ok."
"Great! See you Thursday."

And I'm boned. What the hell do you say? I was caught completely off guard. You know how you always try to anticipate what the other person will say on calls like that? I mean, before you call you go through the scenarios in your mind so you have something on deck to respond with. That was not one of the scenarios I went through.

And you know the longer you sit there and uh and um the more they know you're trying to think of an excuse. And for some reason, it's not acceptable to tell the complete and total truth in those situations.

"Can you work on Thursday?"
"Honestly, I would rather cut my dick off with a rusty coat hanger."
"Ok, see you Saturday!"

For some reason, I don't think that would fly.